America Likes Hamburgers
by Gubler
Summary: What did America do? What is wrong with England? And why would you ever take away America's hamburgers!


America slipped on his black snow cap and zipped up his black jacket. He pulled on his gloves and boots and grabbed the small case with his "weapons" sheathed inside. He grinned at Tony who stared back at him with his giant red eyes. What the hell was he doing?

"Ha ha! I'm gonna get him for this. No one makes Alfred Jones eat a salad!" Tony decided the best course of action was to ignore him and he sat down with a book.

"Wow! I look like a real spy so cool!" America had looked at himself an the mirror on his way out the door. "See you later dude!" He waved to Tony and left. Tony just blinked and went back to his book. America arrived at his destination and went into stealth mode. He snuck around the house and cracked open a window. Ha, he didn't even keep them locked! He tiptoed across the living room and up the stairs. He would have to be quick about this. The moon lighted the way up the stairs to the bedroom door. America slowly opened the door making sure it didn't creak. He stepped inside on the blue carpet and then... the darn floorboards creaked. And it was pretty loud to. He watched the figure roll over in his bed with a moan and he held his breath. Please don't wake up! Luck was on Americas side however as the sleeper went on sleeping. America sighed in relief and walked to the bed pulling out his deadly devices. He quickly finished his job and snuck back out trying to hold in his laughter.

THE NEXT DAY

Russia arrived at the world meeting pretty early. He didn't really have anything to do today so he thought maybe there'd be someone there he could harass. Normally Britain was pretty early to the meetings so he could always have some fun with him. Though Russia's definition of fun was probably very different from Britains. But when he stepped into the room Britain was no were to be found. However America was there and Russia thought he'd be a much better toy. He smiled and sat next to the boisterous nation.

"How is Alfred today?"

"Great!" Russia frowned. Normally America was aggravated when Russia used his real name.

"Really? Why is that? Did you finally lose some weight?" He snickered, that should get him mad. He remembered yesterday when Britain had taken his absurd pile of hamburgers away and made him eat a salad because he said he was an unhealthy git.

"Why would I lose weight? Your the big one here." Russia frowned. Thats it, he was getting a pipe to the head! Luckily Poland walked in saving America from getting a bashed skull. Russia could wait for his vengeance. He could wait all day. He sat there with that creepy smile on his face and a dark purple cloud around his head.

"Oh my god, like Russia is freaking me out! He's like sooo scary Toris save me!" Lithuania had just walked in and Poland jumped into his arms.

"Ah! Feliks you can't just jump on me!"

"Like sorry but he's scary!"

"You get used to it," Lithuania sighed. He got up and sat down with Poland while Russia schemed away. America didn't look very concerned. All his attention was on the door and he was practically bouncing in his seat. He couldn't wait! The next person to arrive was China and then Italy dragging Germany with him. Darn where was he! America was starting to get annoyed...

"Damn potato bastard back away from my brother!" Well there was Romano. And France sneaking up behind him the poor man. No one bothered to help the angry Italian and so, he got goosed. He jumped up about a mile and started swearing very fast in Italian at the sneering french man behind him.

"You know I can't understand a word your saying right?" Before Romano could reply a cloaked figure walked in. A black hood hid their face and they tried to hurry to their seat but France stopped them by putting his hand on their shoulder.

"Excuse me are you lost?"

"Don't touch me you bloody frog!"

"Oh it's you England! Whats with this silly hood take it off." France tugged at the hood but Britain clamped his hands firmly on his head.

"No! Knock it off you wanker!" He slipped out of France's grip and sat at the end of the table. Russia had yet to have his fun and he noticed America was holding his mouth and shaking with his eyes dead set on Britain. So Russia decided to find out what was so funny. He reached over and yanked Britain's hood off.

"Hey!" America couldn't hold it back anymore and burst into laughter. It was alright though because Russia did to. And just about everyone there. Russia fell out of his chair and gripped his stomach while rolling on the floor. America did pretty much the same thing and it took a while for everyone to calm down. Britain looked really peeved off and he glared at America who was still giggling.

"You think it's funny do you? It won't bloody come off!" America started laughing again clutching his chest.

"I... can't... breathe," he wheezed. Just then Austria walked in. Why was America laughing so hard he was red in the face? Surly he didn't want to know... Russia and France were laughing to and a couple of people were holding there mouths in fits of silent giggles. He scanned the room with his eyes and quickly spotted the problem.

"Britain, were are your eyebrows? And why is there a pink uni-brow drawn with marker in it's place? And why is there also a curly french mustache drawn in blue on your lips?"

"I don't bloody know! I just woke up this way! Who ever did it is in so much trouble they won't even-"

"It was Alfred," Russia said pointing at him.

"Wh- How did you know! No I didn't!"

"But you just admitted it my friend." Russia smiled wickedly and America quickly realized his mistake.

"Sh-"

"America!" Britain jumped up and tried to tackle America who dodged just in time. He sprinted out of the room Britain right behind him.

"I'll get you for this Ivan!" Russia just laughed and sat leaned back in his chair. His vengeance was complete.

OWARI review please! It makes me a happy little chicken :)


End file.
